Metroidvanias, the holy combination of the classic platformer style of Metroid, coupled with the innate difficulty and headaches of castlevania. Metroidvanias combine the two creations into one genre, creating a whole subgroup and community revolving around difficult platformers topped with engaging story and nightmarishly difficult bosses. For me, this was no exception, as I have been graced and at times, cursed, with the incredible difficulty of one of the most popular metroidvanias at the time, Hollow Knight. And this very playthrough of my first metroidvania, had pushed me through many great trials and tribulations; and that is because even though the main character, your avatar, is a soulless, hollow vessel, despite navigating the bleak and dreary, yet gorgeous kingdom it finds itself in, through its journey, it gains a new found level of compassion, as the player reflects on this hollow canvas, to imprint a sense of compassion to this being. Helping the other characters on the way, journeying chasms and ancient grounds to fulfill an ancient promise to a lost friend, reuniting with those they’ve loved, it had gained more humanity in its adventure. In many ways, it had reflected my perception of life, bleak and dreary, hollow. The pandemic influenced these feelings moreso, and yet this game, in personifying myself in this character, made me feel like I could gain more faith and fulfillment in humanity, because a little insect like creature, finding purpose and accepting their past “shades” can gain the strength and determination to fight gods. The storytelling of metroidvanias coupled with worldbuilding and fast paced bosses offer a difficult yet compelling story that offers many interpretations of its meaning. In fact, a large majority of the demographic actually falls into the 40-50 year old range, with several remaining in the 10-20s. For me in particular, it was one event I recall doing that was singlehandedly the most challenging endeavor in my time playing games, yet it was so spectacular in its finale and the emotions welling inside me were so frantic that it simply remained embedded in my mind. For those who know, I’m referring to the Pantheon of Hallownest, and for those that don’t, well, you’ll find out soon. 

Among the challenges of Hollow Knight, there exists 3 possible endings (with slight variation mind you) and among one of them is the Pantheon of Hallownest. The Pantheon in lore is a being known as the Godseeker who sought to find the most magnificent deity among him and his people. His true form existed in a subspace in his mind where he and his followers worshiped the many beings and gods you’ve encountered in the game. Within the realm, he mocks your existence, claiming you as a false god and a far cry from his journey to seek perfection. In the game, there exists five doors, each leading to a different pantheon. The pantheons are boss rushes of sorts (waves of bosses one after another) where one death forces you to replay the entire event. The most challenging of the events is the Pantheon of Hallownest, a boss rush consisting of 43 bosses with no breaks, only slight healing in certain intervals. If that wasn’t enough, the platforms actively sought to inconvenience you in favor of your adversary. It is so difficult that according to Steam, a game client, only 2 percent of the entire playerbase have actually completed the event. 

According to the World Health Organization, it is said that the pandemic caused an overall increase of 25% in the development of depression and anxiety worldwide which was attributed to social isolation and stress due to changes in school practices and shutdown of jobs. I was unfortunately one of those individuals who had been impacted. It became hard to focus in school due to online learning being so foreign to me, and with a lack of social interaction, my self worth had taken a toll to an extent. I had played hollow knight before and never got far due to the confusing layout of the game. In 2020 I picked it back up and became immersed, the world, the story, the gameplay, it was my go to game. I even remember my online friends getting somewhat annoyed because I would only play hollow knight whenever I got on. I completed the game’s 3 endings in a month’s time, and had only one challenge left to face.

I had attempted the Pantheon of Hallownest before, and failed miserably. I remember only ever beating it halfway. Afterwards I pushed onwards and struggled immensely with the 3 bosses before the final one, constantly remembering the patterns and experimenting with different techniques. Grey prince Zote, the acclaimed knight of great renown. A figment of a fantasizing bug’s imagination, his attacks were unorthodox and quick, flailing his nail (sword) around like a baby rattle and jumping and landing on his bottom directly above the player. The only way you were meant to dodge the boss was to dash through his leaps and wait until he fell, then circle back and land hits, then rinse and repeat, it is a precarious fight but a satisfying one. 

Following after was Nightmare King Grimm (NKG), a relatively regal specter with fast and smooth attacks, dealing double the dmg at half the time. It took nimble footwork and precise movements to avoid the specter’s onslaught. It was as if you were to dance with him. Even now, I still struggle with this foe. The second to last boss, the Pure Vessel. A regal knight from a bygone era, instilled with the will of protecting their kingdom, for as hollow as he was, had a heart and soul. He was fast, precise, and strong. One moment he would lunge at you at great speeds, leaving little room to maneuver, the next he would summon large blades impaling the ground, cornering you for him to deal the deciding blow. I had to face this beast several times, losing consistently, just to get comfortable enough to swerve and dodge his attacks. I had practiced it so much that I had completely memorized his pattern and completely avoided getting hit by him. One by one, I fell my adversaries with my nail, anxiously holding my controller, because I knew who was coming next. Then, I was there, the Godseeker staring at me, knowing what came next. The sun, growing wings, a figure, a form, vanished. It came before me, shrieking a loud and authoritative roar, an ancient cry of anger and wrath. It was a large moth, a being of pure light. The Absolute Radiance. I died in the first 4 attacks. I suppose I wasn’t ready…

It had been a month since I got that far in the Pantheon. It was around 11:00pm at night and I was on a call with my online friends. I had decided to show them my attempt at the pantheon. I was having a rough time earlier in the week so this was a good means to alleviate my stress, despite how brief. I had made it to Absolute Radiance again, this time, ready. The entire fight, it teleported around the arena, vanishing and remoring, summoning swords of light, launching them at me, summoning pillars, forcing me to dodge through. The ultimate test of skill in the game. 3 minutes in and I had forced it into phase 2. Suddenly, the ground was vanishing, platforms, in classic metroid based style, appeared. Now, I was to maneuver the platforms while landing hits and avoiding being hit. I remember one of my friends shouting and panicking when I was at 1 health. I swiftly unloaded all of my spells and forced it into phase 3. From here, I had to ascend a tower piling to its throne. It would shoot rays of light at me, forcing me off the platform into the void (literally, it’s called the void). After making my way up, it was time for phase 4. It would teleport left and right and summon orbs of light that locked onto you, surely a last ditch effort to end my run. I was sweating by then, dashing to its movements, avoiding the orbs as best I could. I was at 1 health again, when suddenly, it screeched. A loud screech, one of pain. A mass of black bubbling sludge arose from the ground, forming a large cataclysmic being, and in the most satisfying part of the game, it prompted me to simply “hit” it over and over again. So I did. And it screeched. And the creations, the madness, the chaos of the god seeker fell. I remember screaming in the call with my friends, them getting rowdy and excited. It was my first metroidvania. And it sparked my love for the genre. The lore, the emotion, the story. To fall a being of such omnipotent might with nothing but motivation and a will to see it through. Metroidvanias, to me, have the talent of intertwining the challenges of bosses to its story, allowing you to connect to it, to feel powerful, satisfied, and sometimes, mournful. Of course, many storytelling games can do this. But the expert worldbuilding and bosses make it that much more meaningful in telling its story. And one that I wanted to dive into.